I am in the path of an avalanche.

Pebbles graze me, cut my psyche and make me feel weak and dizzy.

Rocks hit me, knock me back, knock me down. Leaving holes I don’t think I can fill.

Boulders knock me down. They lie me flat and break me, my body in splinters though no one can see.

I look at my skin and I want to make it imperfect like my soul. Bring the cuts to the surface. Show everyone my brokenness.

I resist, not for strength or love of self, but because I am too tired to make the effort.
How I would like to close my eyes. Sink into nothing and never rise again. I awake for love. Not of my self, but of those who love me.

Every day when the demon in my head hurls boulders and tries to make me give up, I rise for love.

I am exhausted. The sun shines so seldom in my world, but for a few hours every day I am loved and the demon is quiet.

I will lose one day when all who love me are gone, but for now I rise for love.

I am so tired, but for them I will do anything. Even fight the demon who would destroy me.

I rise for love.